(First time here? Read the Introduction for more information)
Sunday's Theme: Commitment
This is going to be a good one; I love all the music and I'm very excited. As you'll know by the end of this post, commitment is a very personal theme for me.
Opening Hymn: Take My Life and Let it Be VF-133
I know I heard it before, but I remember learning this hymn when I was in children's choir in about the 5th grade or so. We learned about the writer (Frances Havergal) and ever since then, this hymn comes to mind when I think of commitment and dedication. However, I noticed something strange when I was searching for a video of this hymn to post here - I think of this as an upbeat song and usually sing it and play it as so, but all the recordings I found (save for one cheesy karaoke version) were more slow and meditative.
I like this hymn for a Sunday that focuses on commitment because it pretty much covers all the bases: take my life, take my moments, take my hands, take my feet, take my voice, take my lips, take my silver and my gold, take my intellect, take my will, take my heart, take my love, and take myself. If you can't commit all of those to God, surely you can at least commit one. I know how common it is for churches to play up the "silver and gold" part of commitment, but as the choir director, I'm more interested in the "take my voice" part. So if you're looking to get committed at church this fall, we can always use your voice in the choir!
Sequence Hymn: The Summons G-510
I first heard this hymn about two and a half months ago, the first time I was in attendance at St. George's. It's really beautiful and continues with the theme of commitment.
"Lord, your summons echoes true when you but call my name
Let me turn and follow you and never be the same
In your company I'll go, where your love and footsteps show
Thus I'll move and live and grow in you and you in me"
I feel that this song speaks for itself this week, so I won't clutter it up with my own clumsy words. Here it is, if you want listen.
Offertory Anthem: Make Me a Servant
Fair warning, this is a long story. And it may seem irrelevant, but I promise, I'm going somewhere with it.
The summer before my senior year of high school, I attended a workshop for church musicians. I was mostly interested in the handbells workshop, but I also attended a session for pianists. The leader of the session introduced us to some college-level music theory concepts and I was hooked. Right then and there, I decided I would teach music theory at the college level. It felt like I was meant to do it - destined to do it. I auditioned and was accepted to the music program at Wayland Baptist University and began my journey towards my goal. I had it all planned: four years of undergrad, two years for a Master's, then the PhD.
When I aced all my theory classes in undergrad, it just seemed to seal the deal. I entered the Master's program at Texas State in 2006 and felt like I was climbing a few more rungs up the ladder. But that's when I hit a snag. I was doing well in my classes, but I wasn't enjoying it anymore. I went into music theory because I wanted to teach it. In undergrad, I loved tutoring because I got to watch other students try to solve a problem and rather than just giving them the answer, I could help them tweak their problem-solving process. It was wonderful. But in grad school, I was finding out that teaching was considered secondary and that my primary focus should be research. I wrote my thesis on using familiar music to teach college freshmen basic theory concepts, and came up against a good deal of criticism from the other professors. They said I shouldn't "stoop to their level". I guess what I called "teaching," they called "stooping." I was almost through with my Master's degree when I went for an interview at the University of Massachusetts for their Doctoral program. There was a man there who was considered one of the leading minds in teaching music theory and I had reviewed his textbooks for my thesis. If I wanted to focus on teaching, who better to study with than a man who literally wrote the book on it? But even he said that I couldn't focus on teaching.
I was crushed. I decided to put off the PhD while I sorted things out. It was heartbreaking. I thought I was meant to do something and then I couldn't do it. Not that I lacked the ability, but that the thing I thought I was pursuing didn't even really exist. I felt completely lost.
That's when the music director at my church quit and they asked me to step in. I said no. They asked again. I said I couldn't give them any guarantee of a timeline because I was applying for jobs outside of the area. They said that was fine, so I stepped in. The choir did a cantata for Christmas and it went pretty well. Then we did a cantata for Easter and it went really well. I found the feeling I had been looking for in grad school. I wrote a song called "You'll Go with Me" (you can hear it here, if you're interested) but the first verse sums it up pretty well:
"There's a bend in the road, I don't know where it leads
But I know wherever it goes, You'll go with me."
For 7 years, I knew (or thought I knew) exactly where I was going, so it was terrifying to suddenly find myself on a different route. But I realized that one thing about my journey hadn't changed, and that was Who was by my side the whole time.
During the first few months I worked for my church, the choir sang "Make Me a Servant" by Benjamin Harlan. One line stood out to me at the time: "Make me a servant, Lord. Give me a willing heart, ready to go, ready to stay." I was ready to go. I was ready to go at any time. But I was not ready to stay. I ended up making that my prayer and I had my choir sing this anthem once a year since. I asked the Lord to make me ready to stay, and it led me to where I am now. So even though the lyrics are already related to commitment, it has personal meaning to me. This anthem symbolizes my own commitment. I commit to aiding others in worship. I commit to presenting the best music that I can with what I have. I commit to being ready to go. I commit to being ready to stay.
(Listen to "Make Me a Servant")
Communion Hymn: Let Thy Blood in Mercy Poured H-313
A fairly straight-forward selection - the refrain says, "Thou didst give thyself for me, now I give myself to thee."
Recessional: Here I Am, Lord
This hymn title was thrown around when Kevin and I first discussed Rally Day. This is always a favorite and it just ties the whole theme of commitment together. God asks "Who will go?" What will your answer be?
I hope this adds to your worship experience on Sunday. I hope to see you there!
Bonus Video!
I love movies and I have a movie quote for nearly every situation. There's a delightful film called "The Trouble With Angels" which features Haley Mills as a trouble-making teen at a Catholic girls boarding school. In a pivotal scene in the movie, the Reverend Mother tells of her days before she became a nun when she was an apprentice to a designer in Paris. Mary (Mills) asks, "How could you give all that up?" The Reverend Mother smiles to herself and says, "I found something better."
I still love music theory and I geek out about it a lot. But if someone ever asks me how I could give that up, I think my response would be the same as the Reverend Mother's.
You can watch the scene here
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